WHEN TO USE
Use for a real, navigable disagreement you’ve been avoiding or have already handled poorly once.
WHAT TO DO
Before the conversation, name your assumptions about what the other person thinks or feels, and how certain you really are. In the conversation, run the loop in order: listen, paraphrase what you heard in your own words, ask “Did I get that right?” and invite more (“Tell me more about that”) at least once before you share your own view. Debrief afterward on what you learned and where you felt the pull to defend yourself instead.