WHEN TO USE

Use before any potentially tense conversation, feedback, conflict, or a tough email.

WHAT TO DO

Write your opening sentence as you normally would. Label what it signals to the other person’s nervous system: threat, shame, belonging, or partnership? Rewrite using this frame: “I’m going to be [direct/specific/clear], because I [care about your growth / want you to succeed / want us to work well together].” People process your signal before they process your content.