If you want to be a leader whom people follow with absolute conviction, you have to be a likable leader. Tyrants and curmudgeons with brilliant vision can command a reluctant following for a time, but it never lasts. They burn people out before they ever get to see what anyone is truly capable of.
When I speak to smaller audiences, I often ask them to describe the best and worst leaders they have ever worked for. People inevitably ignore innate characteristics (intelligence, extraversion, attractiveness, and so on) and instead focus on qualities that are completely under the leaderâs control, such as approachability, humility, and positivity.
These words, and others like them, describe leaders who are skilled in emotional intelligence. TalentSmartEQ research data from more than a million people shows that leaders who possess these qualities arenât just highly likable, they outperform those who donât possess them by a large margin.
Becoming a more likable leader is completely under your control, and itâs a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ). Unlike innate, fixed characteristics, such as your intelligence (IQ), EQ is a flexible skill that you can improve with effort.
What follows are 10 key behaviors that emotionally intelligent leaders engage in that make them so likable.
1. They Form Personal Connections
Even in a crowded room, likable leaders make people feel like theyâre having a one-on-one conversation, as if theyâre the only person in the room that matters. And, for that moment, they are. Likable leaders communicate on a very personal, emotional level. They never forget that thereâs a flesh-and-blood human being standing in front of them.
2. Theyâre Approachable
You know those people who only have time for you if you can do something for them? Likable leaders truly believe that everyone, regardless of rank or ability, is worth their time and attention. They make everyone feel valuable because they believe that everyone is valuable.
3. Theyâre Humble
Few things kill likability as quickly as arrogance. Likable leaders donât act as though theyâre better than you because they donât think that theyâre better than you. Rather than being a source of prestige, they see their leadership position as bringing them additional accountability for serving those who follow them.
4. Theyâre Positive
Likable leaders always maintain a positive outlook, and this shows in how they describe things. They donât have to give a presentation to the board of directors; they get to share their vision and ideas with the board. They donât have to go on a plant tour; they get to meet and visit with the people who make their companyâs products. They donât even have to diet; they get to experience the benefits of eating healthfully. Even in undeniably negative situations, likable leaders emanate an enthusiastic hope for the future, a confidence that they can help make tomorrow better than today.
5. Theyâre Even-Keeled
When it comes to their own accomplishments and failures, likable leaders take things in stride. They donât toot their own horns, nor do they get rattled when they blow it. They savor success without letting it go to their heads, and they readily acknowledge failure without getting mired in it. They learn from both and move on.
6. Theyâre Generous
Weâve all worked for someone who constantly holds something back, whether itâs knowledge or resources. They act as if theyâre afraid youâll outshine them if they give you access to everything you need to do your job. Likable leaders are unfailingly generous with whom they know, what they know, and the resources they have access to. They want you to do well more than anything else because they understand that this is their job as a leader and because theyâre confident enough to never worry that your success might make them look bad. In fact, they believe that your success is their success.
7. They Demonstrate Integrity
Likable leaders inspire trust and admiration through their actions, not just their words. Many leaders say that integrity is important to them, but likable leaders walk their talk by demonstrating integrity every day. Even a leader who oozes charm wonât be likable if that charm isnât backed by a solid foundation of integrity.
8. They Read People Like A Book
Likable leaders know how to read people as unspoken communication is often more important than the words people say. They note facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice in order to get whatâs really going on with their people. In other words, they have high social awareness, a critical EQ skill.
9. They Appreciate Potential
Robert Brault said, âCharisma is not so much getting people to like you as getting people to like themselves when youâre around.â Likable leaders not only see the best in their people, but they also make sure that everyone else sees it too. They draw out peopleâs talents so that everyone is bettering themselves and the work at hand.
10. They Have Substance
Daniel Quinn said, âCharisma only wins peopleâs attention. Once you have their attention, you have to have something to tell them.â Likable leaders understand that their knowledge and expertise are critical to the success of everyone who follows them. Therefore, they regularly connect with people to share their substance (as opposed to superficial small talk). Likable leaders donât puff themselves up or pretend to be something theyâre not, because they donât have to. They have substance, and they share it with their people.
Bringing It All Together
Likability isnât a birthright; it results from acquirable skills that are crucial to your professional success. And just like any other professional skills, you can study the people who have them, copy what works, and adapt them to your own style. Try these ten strategies and watch your likability soar.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Travis Bradberry, Ph.D.
Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning coauthor of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the cofounder of TalentSmartEQÂź the worldâs leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries.
Dr. Bradberry is a LinkedIn Influencer and a regular contributor to Forbes, Inc., Entrepreneur, The World Economic Forum, and The Huffington Post. He has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Fast Company, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.