WHEN TO USE Use when your meetings feel checked-out, defensive, or like they could have been an email. WHAT TO DO Spend 15 minutes before one recurring meeting answering: what do I want people to feel in the first five minutes, not about the agenda, but about this gathering and the people in it? Design…
Design Meetings with Emotion in Mind Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use when your tone landed harder than intended, even in a small moment. WHAT TO DO Name the impact (not your intention): “I cut you off.” Take responsibility without a “but.” Express genuine regret simply. Make a repair offer, practical, relational, or restorative. Commit to one change you can actually keep. People…
The Two-Word Reset Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use before any potentially tense conversation, feedback, conflict, or a tough email. WHAT TO DO Write your opening sentence as you normally would. Label what it signals to the other person’s nervous system: threat, shame, belonging, or partnership? Rewrite using this frame: “I’m going to be [direct/specific/clear], because I [care about your…
Set the Temperature with Your First Sentence Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use when you feel yourself getting activated in real time, jaw tight, voice sharpening. WHAT TO DO Pick one non-negotiable: “I will not make this worse.” Buy ten seconds: slow exhale, drop shoulders, open hands. Name what you’re feeling internally, even a single word reduces amygdala activation. Then meta-communicate briefly: “I’m getting…
Don’t Feed the Fire Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use when you have feedback to give, positive or corrective. WHAT TO DO Praise specifically and visibly; correction belongs in private. Before correcting, check three conditions: Is this person in a state to receive this? Have I chosen a private setting? Am I entering as a partner in their growth, or as…
Credit in Public, Correct in Private Read More »
