On February 4, 2026, I became #7408 in a project that’s been running longer than some people’s careers.
I met Rob Lawless—a guy in Philadelphia on a mission to meet 10,000 people, one-on-one, for one hour, one person at a time. He started in 2015. No shortcuts. No “networking events.” Just a recurring vote for the simplest, most underrated lever we have: talk to another human and pay attention.
If that sounds small, that’s the point.
Because connection almost always starts small—and then becomes consequential.
Rob told me something that’s been echoing ever since: “You can’t get to 10,000 without getting to the first 7.”
His first seven meetings took three months. Not because he lacked discipline, but because connection works like muscle: awkward at first, slow to build, and then, if you keep showing up, transformative.
A life can pivot on a conversation (or the lack of one)
After Rob posted about our conversation, I reread it and had a strange feeling—like watching a movie trailer for a film I forgot I was in.
For most of my upbringing, I was on a clear path toward a medical career. I did everything right: UC Berkeley pre-med, MCAT, internships, externships. I was building what I thought was a stable, respectable future.
Then I worked for a urologist in San Diego, shadowed procedures (including a wild bladder reconstruction), and spent long hours in a lonely research lab running clinical trials. And I had a realization that didn’t arrive with fireworks—just a quiet, undeniable weight:
“I’m really worried that I’ve built my whole life on a romantic idea of what this career is going to be.”
Cue the identity crisis:
- Step one: wallow in bed watching Gilmore Girls
- Step two: move near my sister in Sacramento to feel less alone
- Step three: accidentally create a new life because of one simple reconnection
I hadn’t packed enough things when I moved, so I had to go back to San Diego, and while there, I reconnected with someone I’d known years earlier.
Now, nearly two decades later, we’re married with two kids.
That outcome feels inevitable in hindsight. It wasn’t. It was a chain reaction sparked by proximity, timing, and a willingness to reconnect.
That’s one of connection’s quiet tricks: it doesn’t just give you support. It gives you options.
Responsibility, purpose, and the work that changed my trajectory
Rob reflected something back to me that stuck: how much responsibility shaped my path.
After stepping away from medicine, I worked with two women with mental and physical disabilities, helping them re-enter the workforce.
It wasn’t “inspiring” in the Instagram sense. It was real. Sometimes frustrating. Often grounding. Always meaningful. It showed me what happens when people are treated as capable, worthy, and included, and what happens when they’re not.
That experience led me to a PhD in Organizational Psychology, then into leadership development, and now to my role leading product and research at TalentSmartEQ.
In other words, my career became a long study of what connection does, when it’s present, and when it’s missing.
And Rob, with his 10,000-person mission, is running a parallel study in real time.
“Nice” vs. “kind” (and why it matters)
Early in our conversation, I asked Rob about the difference between the East Coast and West Coast.
He said: “Philly is kind but not nice. LA is nice but not kind.”
It’s a provocative distinction. Nice is often performance. Kind is effort. Nice is the smile. Kind is the follow-through.
He also joked that Philly’s emotional intelligence depends on how its sports teams are doing—which, if you’ve ever been there after a tough loss, feels accurate.
But underneath the humor is a deeper truth: connection isn’t just interpersonal, it’s cultural. Communities have emotional climates. Organizations do too.
And right now, many workplaces feel like they’re in a prolonged emotional winter.
Work is getting lonelier and we can’t ignore it
Connection isn’t trending because it’s soft, it’s trending because it’s missing.
Research continues to show that when people feel a sense of belonging at work, organizations benefit through stronger performance signals like reduced turnover risk and fewer sick days.[1]
More recently, HBR has argued that leaders need to focus on both belonging and meaningful interpersonal relationships, not one or the other.[2]
Because loneliness isn’t just emotional, it’s operational. It impacts performance, retention, health, creativity, and ultimately, leadership. Fast Company put it bluntly in a recent piece about leadership loneliness: relationships aren’t just emotional support; they’re also how “deals get done” and people get promoted.[3]
As Rob put it: organizations are constantly searching for levers like innovation and engagement, when so much of it is already sitting inside human connection.
But people say, “I don’t have time.” He thinks that’s crazy. I do too.
Weak ties, new worlds, and the humility connection creates
One of the most interesting effects of Rob’s project is what it’s done to his awareness.
He told me the biggest changes in him are gratitude and awareness.
Gratitude, because meeting so many people has made one thing clear: loss is inevitable.
“People get life wrong,” he said. “They are so career focused that they forget the point is to connect.”
Awareness, because meeting thousands of people has shown him how limited his worldview was.
He shared a moment from 2021 when someone mentioned war in Ethiopia, and he had no idea it was happening. Not just “I’m uninformed,” but a deeper realization: if something that big can be invisible, what else is?
Then there was a conversation with a woman who uses a wheelchair. She pointed out something most of us never notice: sidewalks have a slight slope for water runoff. When you walk, it’s invisible. When you wheel yourself, one arm has to work harder than the other.
That’s what connection does, it reveals the “slopes” you didn’t know existed.
This is also why weak ties matter. They expose you to perspectives, opportunities, and ideas outside your default world. Or, in simpler terms: meeting people helps you discover what you didn’t know you were missing.
Connection creates humility and then possibility.
You don’t have to go “all in” to get the benefits
Here’s the most important takeaway: You don’t need to meet 10,000 people to benefit from connection.
Rob would agree with you.
You can run micro-experiments:
- Meet one new person at your organizations
- Ask a friend for one introduction
- Expand your network in a human, non-transactional way
Because connection compounds. The “first seven” principle applies everywhere, friendships, careers, leadership, even marriage.
Practical micro-experiments: what to do this week (even if you’re busy)
If connection is a lever (and it is) here are small ways to pull it without rearranging your life.
- Run the “One New Person” experiment
Pick one person you sort of know or have never spoken to (at work or in your community). Invite them to a 20–30 minute conversation. Open with: “I realized we’ve never really talked, want to grab coffee and compare notes on what you’re working on?”
- Upgrade one existing relationship
Connection isn’t only about new people. Choose one relationship you value and invest deliberately:
- Send a voice note instead of a text.
- Ask one real question: “What’s been taking up most of your emotional energy lately?”
- Practice “kind, not just nice”
Nice is easy, kind is effort.
- Offer a specific help: “Want me to review that doc?” / “I can introduce you to someone.”
- Do one “no credit needed” supportive act per week.
- Replace one email with a 10-minute call
If your workplace is drowning in messages, pick one thread and say: “This might be faster live, do you have 10 minutes?” You’ll reduce misunderstandings and build trust.
- Ask a “world-expanding” question
Borrow Rob’s style. Ask questions that reveal hidden slopes:
- “What’s something about your day-to-day that most people don’t see?”
- “What do you wish leaders understood about people like you?”
- Make connection visible on your calendar
If it’s not scheduled, it’s “optional,” and optional disappears.
- Block one 30-minute slot a week called “Connection.”
- Use it for a coffee chat, a walk with a colleague, or calling someone you miss.
- Close the day with gratitude + awareness
Rob’s two biggest changes are available to all of us.
- Gratitude: write down one person you’re thankful exists.
- Awareness: write down one thing you learned today that you didn’t know yesterday.
Because that’s the whole thing, really.
We think connection is a soft skill. But it’s really a strategy, a health practice, a creativity engine, and a leadership advantage, all rolled into one.
And sometimes, it’s the difference between building a life you admire and living inside a life you once thought you were supposed to want.
[1] https://hbr.org/2019/12/the-value-of-belonging-at-work
[2] https://hbr.org/2025/09/loneliness-is-reshaping-your-workplace
[3] https://www.fastcompany.com/91451495/the-higher-you-climb-the-lonelier-it-gets-heres-how-top-leaders-stay-connected-leadership-loneliness-connection