WHEN TO USE Use when you’ve already decided what someone’s behavior means. WHAT TO DO Before the conversation, write the story you’re assuming about this person. Then ask three questions: What is this person protecting? What are they fearing? What are they trying to achieve? If you can’t answer with confidence, you’re assuming an incomplete…
Rush to Curiosity, Not Advice Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use when stress, pressure, or self-doubt starts driving your inner dialogue. WHAT TO DO Notice the words your mind repeats under stress and replace the “hot” words that intensify pressure with language that is more grounded and constructive. Each day, rewrite one stressful internal sentence and say the new version out loud…
Train Your Nervous System Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use when a project or task feels too large to begin. WHAT TO DO Ask: what is the smallest possible action that counts as starting? Not the plan, the first move. One email. One sentence. One conversation. Do it today. For the next seven days, your only commitment is that minimum action…
WHEN TO USE Use when you sense depletion in others, or in yourself, but haven’t named the systemic issue. WHAT TO DO Rate your team weekly on exhaustion, cynicism, and efficacy (1-10 each). Each day for two weeks, note one observation about strain, not analysis, just data. At the end, ask: where do signals cluster?…
Track Burnout Like a Business Metric Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use when you sense something is wrong on your team but can’t name it. WHAT TO DO Invite your team to write privately: “If I resigned in six months, I’d be leaving because… The part I don’t say out loud is… The smallest change that would make the biggest difference is…” This…
The Unsent Resignation Letter Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use when a team process produces completed forms but not real conversations. WHAT TO DO Identify one step in a recurring process (reviews, 1:1s, onboarding) that exists for the system’s benefit rather than the person’s, and remove it. Then find one moment in the same process where a direct human exchange could…
One Less Click, One More Human Signal Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use when your team keeps doing things you don’t want, or struggling to do things you value. WHAT TO DO Draw two columns: Easy (what currently requires no effort) and Hard (what you value but requires willpower). Circle one item from Easy that should be harder or eliminated, and one from Hard…
Make the Right Things Easy Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use when your meetings feel checked-out, defensive, or like they could have been an email. WHAT TO DO Spend 15 minutes before one recurring meeting answering: what do I want people to feel in the first five minutes, not about the agenda, but about this gathering and the people in it? Design…
Design Meetings with Emotion in Mind Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use when your tone landed harder than intended, even in a small moment. WHAT TO DO Name the impact (not your intention): “I cut you off.” Take responsibility without a “but.” Express genuine regret simply. Make a repair offer, practical, relational, or restorative. Commit to one change you can actually keep. People…
The Two-Word Reset Read More »
WHEN TO USE Use before any potentially tense conversation, feedback, conflict, or a tough email. WHAT TO DO Write your opening sentence as you normally would. Label what it signals to the other person’s nervous system: threat, shame, belonging, or partnership? Rewrite using this frame: “I’m going to be [direct/specific/clear], because I [care about your…
Set the Temperature with Your First Sentence Read More »
