Interpersonal
The Two-Word Reset
WHEN TO USE Use when your tone landed harder than intended, even in a small moment. WHAT TO DO Name the impact (not your intention): “I cut you off.” Take responsibility without a “but.” Express genuine regret simply. Make a repair offer, practical, relational, or restorative. Commit to one change you can actually keep. People…
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Set the Temperature with Your First Sentence
WHEN TO USE Use before any potentially tense conversation, feedback, conflict, or a tough email. WHAT TO DO Write your opening sentence as you normally would. Label what it signals to the other person’s nervous system: threat, shame, belonging, or partnership? Rewrite using this frame: “I’m going to be [direct/specific/clear], because I [care about your…
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Don’t Feed the Fire
WHEN TO USE Use when you feel yourself getting activated in real time, jaw tight, voice sharpening. WHAT TO DO Pick one non-negotiable: “I will not make this worse.” Buy ten seconds: slow exhale, drop shoulders, open hands. Name what you’re feeling internally, even a single word reduces amygdala activation. Then meta-communicate briefly: “I’m getting…
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Credit in Public, Correct in Private
WHEN TO USE Use when you have feedback to give, positive or corrective. WHAT TO DO Praise specifically and visibly; correction belongs in private. Before correcting, check three conditions: Is this person in a state to receive this? Have I chosen a private setting? Am I entering as a partner in their growth, or as…
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